#38: That Overused Word, Community
Hi friends,
Do you also cringe a little bit when you hear that word, 'community'? It’s been so overused in the past few decades that it has started to lose some of its precious meaning.
(I used to play this game when I was a child: repeating a word back-to-back so much that it lost its meaning. There’s a similar effect happening with the overuse of the word community. That, by the way, is called semantic satiation.)
On the wild prairies of the internet, anyone can now claim that they have a community—be it a company, an influencer on Instagram, or a news organization. But is that really so? Are we all awash in communities in this year of 2020?
According to the Oxford Languages dictionary, a community is a 'feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.' And that, to me, is precisely why the word 'community' is losing some of its meaning. When we call any group of people a community when they are not, in fact, sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals, we devalue the word.
Turns out, it’s really important for humans to be in community with others and feel that sense of fellowship. As Darren Hardy writes in his book, The Compound Effect, 95 percent of success or failure in life can be attributed to the people you habitually associate with. 95 percent. (This is according to research by a Harvard social psychologist David McLelland.)
Another research, also from Harvard, found that satisfying relationships were a key factor contributing to healthier, happier lives in our adulthood:
"When we gathered together everything we knew about [the participants] at age 50, it wasn’t their middle-age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old. It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80."
— Robert Waldinger, Harvard Adult Development Study
This shouldn’t come as a revelation to anyone, we already know this. It really matters how supported—or alone—we feel throughout our lives.
I, for one, have been missing that support. I dream about having a group of people who I share common goals with and who I could turn to at a moment’s notice.
The Great Distancing of 2020 has made it easier for many, not just me, to get caught up in work and our own bubbles. The plague of the 21st century is not COVID-19. It’s isolation.
As I enter into a new stage of personal and professional growth, I realize how important that structure of support is and how my environment lacks in this way. And that awareness is important. It is the first step toward looking for—or creating—change.
Find your community. When you read these words, you may feel that sense of skepticism creep in for reasons I touched on above. It’s overused, that word, but more important than ever.
Onwards,
Yulia
P.S. My answer to finding community? It’s The Circle, my new monthly membership for womxn creators who want to be supported on their journeys. And right now, you can join us as a Founding Member (this ends Wed, Sep 30).
Here’s what one of our members shared: "I said to myself: I don’t need this. But then I was like, “No you do. You need the accountability. You need someone who can be in your corner and who can cheer on you and help you get stuff done. You’ve been alone for all this time and it’s really easy to just be in the shadow. Now it’s time to step out and be in the light."
This week’s joy links:
I’m reading Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. It’s less insane than it sounds.
I’m listening to Zebiba Girma, an Ethiopian musician with music that’s been able to quell my lust to wander for a bit
I’m watching What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness from that same guy, Robert Waldinger of Harvard Adult Development Study